Heavy

July 16, 2012

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This is the heaviest I’ve ever been – at my younger brother’s wedding.

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Back in the Saddle

July 16, 2012

I had my first official weigh in today – almost two years since my last blog post. I weigh 213,6 lbs, almost 50 lbs more than at my last Weigh In.

How is it possible to gain 50 lbs in less than two years? I’m not pregnant, nor have I been depressed, but in all honesty, I’ve had major issues. This is embarrassing to admit, but I’ve several days stopped at the grocery store and eaten an entire bag of crisps in the car – promptly followed by shame.  A lot of eating has been “secret” – but it’s impossible to keep it secret from your body, and it has gained the weight based on the calories that have been coming in and not coming out. 

In the past 3 months I have exercised once. I can feel how my body feels heavier, I am more out of breath, my clothes don’t fit – and I’m in a perpetual state of , “I’ll start this tomorrow, so I had better eat as much unhealthy stuff as I can today, since it’s my last chance”. Then tomorrow comes, and I have pushed forward one more day. Then another – and another.

I am posting today to declare that I have to change. I will change. This weight gain and the weight I’m at now is no longer a matter of vanity, but a matter of health and happiness.

I will weigh myself each and every week and post it here for accountability – if nothing else, I will be facing facts.

Here we go.