Never will I ever

1. Wear running shorts. You know the type – slits on the side, loose short shorts.  I’ve ranted about how much I despise shorts in the past (they’re fine on other people, just not me), but running shorts deserve a special mention. While not only displaying far more wobbly tissue than I care to share, but also: EPIC chafing.
2. Be  a morning person. A couple of weeks ago, I got up at 5 am, went to the gym, and went to work. No big whoop – I see bloggers who do this every.single.day.  All power to them, I genuinely admire them. It just isn’t for me.  I love the feeling of having completed a workout before the workday has even begun, but not only do I not have all that much energy in the morning, but rather than energising me it leaves me longing for my duvet come 11.30. I hope I can keep going to the gym before work every once in a while, but I tell you: the day I start getting up at 5 am on a regular basis, DEFINITELY check the sky for flying pigs and fat ladies in song.
3. Starve myself. As much as I want to lose weight, I am a hungry girl who gets grouchy when I’m not fed. A few years ago I did a week on the Cambridge Diet, “nourishing” myself on 3 shakes/soups per day. Gross. I gave up after 5 days,  and spent then following 5 days making up for “lost food”. Needless to say, this is not the weight loss strategy for me.
4. Never say never – but I don’t intend to wear a one-piece bathing suit any time soon.  I never understand how a one-piece is more reassuring/flattering to larger people. Give me a bikini! Seriously, I’ve tried on one-pieces and they are just not a good look at all. I do love these vintagey pin-up style one-pieces, but they don’t suit me, and ultimately result in awkward tan lines.
5.  Give up! I’ll never stop trying to improve my health, fitness and general wellbeing.