This is the heaviest I’ve ever been – at my younger brother’s wedding.
I had my first official weigh in today – almost two years since my last blog post. I weigh 213,6 lbs, almost 50 lbs more than at my last Weigh In.
How is it possible to gain 50 lbs in less than two years? I’m not pregnant, nor have I been depressed, but in all honesty, I’ve had major issues. This is embarrassing to admit, but I’ve several days stopped at the grocery store and eaten an entire bag of crisps in the car – promptly followed by shame. A lot of eating has been “secret” – but it’s impossible to keep it secret from your body, and it has gained the weight based on the calories that have been coming in and not coming out.
In the past 3 months I have exercised once. I can feel how my body feels heavier, I am more out of breath, my clothes don’t fit – and I’m in a perpetual state of , “I’ll start this tomorrow, so I had better eat as much unhealthy stuff as I can today, since it’s my last chance”. Then tomorrow comes, and I have pushed forward one more day. Then another – and another.
I am posting today to declare that I have to change. I will change. This weight gain and the weight I’m at now is no longer a matter of vanity, but a matter of health and happiness.
I will weigh myself each and every week and post it here for accountability – if nothing else, I will be facing facts.
Here we go.
Yesterday was date night! Went out for dinner with J after enduring 55 brutal minutes of spin class. I really wish I enjoyed exercise more – while I love the feeling of accomplishment afterwards, and the post-sweating-buckets glow, I really wish I could be one of those people who love pushing their bodies and revel in physical activity.
Anyway, dinner was great! Went to Renaa, a fairly new restaurant here, and they had so many delicious-sounding menu items. We ended up splitting the steak tartare (don’t be afraid of raw beef, it’s DIVINE! Sorry, vegetarians), then my dining partner had halibut with mushrooms, and I had a chicken and coucous tagine.
The best olives I’ve ever tasted. Ever.
J’s halibut. Yummy!
Outfit. Ugh, I know, awkward myspace mirror photo.
My friend Elisabeth and I have started hiking on Sundays when the weather’s decent and we’re both free. Living in Stavanger, Norway has definite benefits – we’re very close to gorgeous nature, and hiking trails of varying difficulty abound.
This Sunday we went to Lifjell – great views!
I’ve decided to make some changes. I haven’t been on in months, mainly because I’ve been a bit ashamed that I
a) haven’t been losing weight
b) haven’t been following WW point
c) CERTAINLY hasn’t had a realistic approach to this so-called marathon training.
So, some announcements. Obviously, I’m not going to run a marathon in late September. I still have no idea what I was thinking. I’ve been reading a lot of Healthy Living blogs, and everyone’s just so motivated, consistent – and actually make their goals. I, on the other hand, have been running (jogging) just every once in a while. And I’m OK with that. I’ve readjusted my expectations and come to the conclusion that I’m going to take this slow. I want to live healthy (but still fun!) lifestyle, and I will run a marathon at one point in my life (even if I just walk) but it will not be now.
Instead, I’ve registered for a 10K in Stavanger next weekend. Much more realistic.
In other news, summer is coming to an end here. Sad panda. I spent a wonderful 3 weeks in Thailand with J – and as a lovely last hurrah, I’m off to Kalkan, Turkey in mid-September. FUN TIMES AHEAD.
These past two weeks have been good, though – my eating’s not great, but not awful either – and I’ve been working out 4-5 times each week.